so I blast off into orbit from my jungle eutopia on my rotary cottage and my hall asi says I'm doing 20 mph. I don't buy it. I feel like I'm entering space orbit and asi is bitchin.

I've found that even a nose mounted pitot asi will be inaccurate if pitch and yaw aren't true.
I've noticed that on both AC machines Rusty Nance had.

Is there a right way to position a petot tube and where do you NOT want to position the petot?

I would think straight on into the wind with the craft in cruise flight both in pitch and yaw.
Hey how about trim controls for the pitot tube??

I think it was just gummed up, I had the same problem when I used a hall meter on my sky pup.

Stop using it for a rain gauge.